Good Old Uncle Wallace

I went to a funeral visitation for my great aunt the other day. She was old and had Alzheimer's disease, so even though her passing was kind of sad, it was also a blessing. Thankfully, she didn't linger in a nursing home for 10+ years like some Alzheimer's patients do.

So, anyway, I was at the visitation, catching up with family members... some of which I haven't seen in years. I was making my rounds and came upon my great great aunt and uncle. Yes, I said 2 greats. I'm pushing 40, so how old do you reckon my great great aunt and uncle are? To be honest, when I first saw them there, my first thought was, "I'll be jiggered! They're still alive!"

I started a conversation with my great great aunt, whose name is Dorothy. She is the youngest sister of my great grandmother, who passed away 13 years ago. Anyway, I was exchanging pleasantries with Dorothy. We were having a nice chat, when her husband, great great uncle Wallace, piped up and said, "I haven't seen you in a long time. You've filled out a lot since the last time I saw you. I hate to say that, but it's true."

My face had to have turned 3 shades of red. I'm pretty pale, so that's a lot of red. I was kind of at a loss for words, so I just smiled and said, "Yeah, I guess I have."

My great aunt Gatye (rhymes with "Katie" in case you're wondering) was sitting next to Dorothy and without missing a beat, she said, "Haven't we all?"

That was an okay comeback, but let me explain something about Gatye. She has Alzheimer's and is as skinny as a rail. So for her to say that, it really doesn't mean anything at all. Another lady in the group, who I think is a distant cousin, tried to make the situation better by saying that the trick to weight loss is to drink lots of water. REALLY???? That's all I have to do??? I'll be jiggered again!

A couple of my cousins, who are closer to me in age, were sitting nearby listening to the whole thing and their faces were priceless. I think they felt embarrassed for me. The whole thing was awkward, to say the least.

When I have to choose between "fight or flight", I'm going to pick "flight" pretty much anytime, so I grabbed Mike's arm and said, "Well, Mike has to get back to work, so we better go." And then we beelined to the safety of my immediate family members to say our goodbyes and left.

After I got home, I did cry. After all, it was really embarrassing. I know I'm overweight and I'm trying hard to lose it. It doesn't come off nearly as easy as it went on. Anyone who has a weight problem will tell you that. What I don't get is why good old Uncle Wallace thought it would be okay to point it out to me. Did he not think I had noticed? My response should have been to look down at my waist and say, "Oh crap! How did that happen?"

Why did he do that to me? When you get old, does the part of the brain that discerns between good and bad conversation topics get smaller? My grandfather says inappropriate things all the time and my elderly neighbors across the street talk about things that most people don't want to hear about... like goiters and corns and such. WHY??? Is it a prerequisite to getting old? If there are any old people out there reading this, can you please enlighten me?

That Old Familiar Feeling

A year or two before I got pregnant with Hayley, my doctor told me it would be extremely difficult for me to have children... if ever. So, when I got pregnant with Hayley, I felt so blessed. That was over 13 years ago. For whatever reason, God saw fit for me to only have one child. There have been times I've felt sad by that, but I have always tried to keep it in perspective. There are many women who don't even have ONE child, so who am I to complain? Even so, it's been a source of disappointment over the years. In more recent years, though, I've come to tell myself not to give it another thought because I'm really just getting too old to have children now anyway. I didn't realize how much I had hardened my heart toward the thought of having a baby in the house until the last week or so of babysitting. But having Lorelai here last week and now having Marly this week, I have those old familiar feelings bubbling to the surface. Babies ARE a blessing from God. I love watching them smile. I love how they smell (except for the dirty diaper smell... I'm not crazy!) I love the faces they make when they are sleeping. I love everything about them. My heart is bursting with joy, watching Marly sleep. But it is also feeling that old longing of having something that will never be. My own child is 13 and becoming more and more independent. In a few years she won't need me anymore at all. That makes me sad. Anyway, I guess this babysitting thing is a way of appeasing that maternal need to hold and care for a child, without the actual 24 hour a day obligation... not that it would be such a horrible thing.

Well, Marly is starting to wake up from her nap, so I better wrap this up. She is much more mobile than Lorelai was, which is keeping me on my toes (literally). She is crawling and pulling up. She was able to walk to me by holding on to the couch earlier, so she'll be walking/running on her own before too much longer!

The Outsider

My dogs are upset with me because of the "intruder" I've allowed into our home. They love people and love having company but they do not understand babies. The baby that I've started taking care of has all 5 of our pets in an uproar. The cats don't like any intruder, baby or otherwise. Charity gets freaked out by children anyway, but a squealing baby has her hiding in another room or in her kennel all day. Even Jamie, the nurturer, is at a loss. They don't understand what's going on. I'm paying more attention to the baby than to them and they just don't get it. My Moose's feelings are hurt the worst. Last night, after the baby had gone home, Moose still wouldn't pay attention to me. She kept turning her back on me and if she wasn't completely ignoring me, she was laying on the couch with a sulking look on her face. Today went pretty much the same as yesterday. All the animals steered clear of the baby. Moose would at least stay in the same room, mostly on the couch just watching her. At one point, the baby was jabbering and making funny noises and Moose looked at me like, "I don't see what's so special about that... it can't even speak English." I can tell you with absolute certainty that my dogs know the baby isn't making any sense because they all understand words and the baby really isn't saying anything that resembles a word they know. And then later, the baby had a poopy diaper. Moose came down from the couch to get a better whiff of it (she is a dog afterall... that's what they do). She looked at me after she sniffed it as if to say, "Great. It pooped in the house and didn't get in trouble. What's next? You going to let it pilfer through the trash too?" My poor Moose. She's been my baby since she was a pup and now all of a sudden, she feels like she's not the center of my world anymore. Maybe I'll go get some "special" treats for her this weekend. She loves peanut butter flavored treats from PetSmart... maybe I'll get those.

I'm A Mom... How Hard Can It Be?

I recently started caring for a friend's baby during the day. Actually, today was my second day. I've been a mom for 13 years, so it should be easy, right? Right. Well... it's not as easy as I imagined it to be. It took me 13 years to get my own child, Hayley, trained to do stuff for me instead of me waiting on her. I guess over the last 13 years I've blocked out a lot of memories, like feeding schedules, diaper changes, nap times. But it has all come back to me now. This is actually a good thing for me, I think. No more lounging around the house all day. And I'm forced to keep myself on a sleep schedule. No more late nights. I've been so pooped the last couple of days that it hasn't been a problem for me to get to bed early, thus, making it easier for me to get up earlier in the morning. It really is a good thing for me. But I keep wondering how the heck I managed to keep up when Hayley was a baby. All I can figure is I was younger and much thinner back then and I had a lot more energy. I'm going to look at this babysitting gig as my new daily workout plan. She should have me whipped back into shape by the end of the summer... I sure hope so anyway!

Issue #12: A Much Needed Rest

The last few weeks have been so stressful on my body, mind, and spirit. In fact, this last week I finally felt stretched to my limit and just broke.

I've talked a lot about our many blessings and how God has been there for us and I still hold true to that. But the uncertainty of how everything with the car will turn out and now about how to pay for my daughter's braces and upcoming trip is all weighing on me. It all comes down to faith, I know.

And then a couple of weeks ago we took in an unexpected house guest who turned out to be a very bad house guest. I really felt like he took us for granted from day 1. It became clear in the first week of his stay that he was a free-loader. Right off the bat, he lost his key to our house. He was costing us more than we had in food and supplies and never once compensated us when he said he would... and I don't necessarily mean compensation by way of actually paying us money... I mean like helping us around the house/yard. I was constantly cleaning up after him and when it came time to mow, he disappeared for 4 days. It was constantly stuff like that and I got tired of it really fast. I snapped and Mike had to tell his friend it was time to go... but for the record, we held up on our end of the deal. We told him from the beginning he had until the 1st and then he would have to go. But when the time came, Mike had to pretty much force him out.

So, here we are 3 days later. I have my house back and the locks are changed. I slept for 12 hours last night. It was a much needed rest. I feel like I could sleep even longer, truth be told.

I will be getting more info on the prognosis for our car sometime today. Pray for good news!